Tawa muna kayo dyan!!!!!!!!!!

ANG LORO

Tuwang-tuwa at parating pinagmamalaki nung Monsignor yung
kaniyang alagang loro.

Wika nung Monsignor, "Itong aking loro ay hindi lang
napakagaling magsalita kundi napakabanal pa! Kapag aking
hinigit yung kadena sa kaniyang kaliwang paa, siya'y
magsasalita ng buong dasal ng Ama Namin. Kapag akin
namang hinigit yung kadena sa kaniyang kanang paa,siya'y
magsasalita ng buong dasal ng Aba Ginoong Maria."

Tanong nung isang aleng nakikinig, "Monsignor, kung sabay
mong hatakin yung kadena sa kaniyang magkabilang paa, ano
ang kaniyang isasalita?"

Sagot nung Monsignor, "Sapagkat hindi ko pa naisipang gawin
yang itinatanong mo, purbahan natin ngayon!" at sabay na
hinatak nung Monsignor ang kadena sa magkabilang paa nung
loro.

Biglang nagsalita yung loro... "Tangna naman, Padre, mahuhulog
ako diyan sa ginagawa mong 'yan, eh!

nyeh!!!!!
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IF ONLY



If only ADAM & EVE were Pilipino, they

would not have committed the original sin.
................




Kakanin nila ang ahas at

ibebenta na lang ang mansanas.
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PILLS

BF: Hon, di ako makatulog pwede ba tayong mag-sex?
GF: Hindi pwede! anong palagay mo nung sa kin--sleeping pills?

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NAKALUNOK

Man: Doc, help me uminom ako ng baygon.
Doc: Bakit, magsusuicide ka?
Man: Hindi. Nakalunok kasi ako ng buhay na ipis.
Doc: Tange! Dapat kumain ka na lang ng tsinelas.

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namatay na si DA KING..




at ngayon si DABOY naman.




baka ako na ang susunod..





-DAGUL



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dugo-dugo gang

SIR: Inday, si sir mo 'toh. Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!

INDAY Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh?

SIR: Gagah! Si sir mo talaga 'toh!

INDAY: Kung si sir ka, anong kulay ng panty ko kagabi?

eyngggg

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Tatlong madre nagpunta sa palengke:
Madre1 : Magkano itong talong?
Tindera : Sampung piso ang apat na piraso.
Madre2 : Paano yan sister, tatlo lang ang kailangan natin?
Madre3 : Bilhin mo na sister, yung isa ulam na lang natin.

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Magkumare nag-chichikahan.
Mare1 : Kinakausap mo ba ang mister mo habang nakikipag-sex ka?
Mare2 : Hindi ah! Pinapatay ko ang celphone ko para di niya ako
matawagan.paktai!!!!!!!!!!

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In a restaurant, a man met a lovely waitress.

Man: What is your name?

Waitress: Omega, sir.

Man: Beautiful name, how are you related to Omega watch?

Waitress: Same price sir, but different movement!

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anong prutas ang maputi?

ano daw?!?!

-edi! PUTIto.



e ano namang prutas ang mas maputi?


ano daw?!?

-e di MASHED PUTIto

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A CUTE STORY

Lolo and Lola agreed to recall their first meeting 50 years ago to make yesterday once more.

Lolo waited in the river with flowers but lola did not arrive. pag uwi ni lolo nasa bed si lola, nakahiga yakap ang unan. lolo, angry, tinapon ang flowers sa floor,
"bakit di ka sumipot sa lakad natin?"

lola, covered her face with the unan and pa shy shy na sumagot,
"hindi ako pinayagan ni mama e."ngaakkk!!!!!

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[b]Ms. Universe Intro:[/b]


gutom ako, gutom kayo
gutom tayong lahat!
HUNGARY!


ola viola!
kaserola, tinola, saranggola, arinola ni lola!
VENEZULA!


boom!kabum!kablam!
AFGHANISTAN


malay mo, malay nya,
malay nating lahat!
MALAYSIA!


baha dun, baha dito
baha sa buong mundo!
BAHAMAS!


hindi sakin, hindi sayo, kanino sya?
KENYA!


one way, two way
there's no other way!
NORWAY!


sing ka na, sing ka pa
ilabas ang magic sing!
SINGAPORE!


mula sa lupang kulang ang bigas
san damakmak na mandurugas!
PILIPINAS

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sabi ng puso ko, mahal ko sya


sabi naman ng utak ko, di tama


ang sabi ko naman..


o ikaw bituka, atay, kidney, baka gusto nyo rin magcomment?

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dalawang magkumpare nagkita isang araw...

pare1: pare, bakit maraming pasa yang mukha moh..

pare2: kasi nabugbog ako ng mga tao sa airplane eh..

pare1: bakit naman pare?

pare2: ewan ko nga eh,, tinawag ko lang naman 'yong frend ko ehh..

pare1: ha? ano?..bakit ano bang sinabi mo?

pare2: hi, Jack!!

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HISTORY LESSON

Teacher - Who killed Ferdinand Magellan? The name starts with L and L.
Student - Lito Lapid?
Teacher - Wrong! Hint, matapang siya at walang kinatatakutan.
Student - Mam, si Loren Legarda?
Teacher - Wrong pa rin. Hint uli, inuulit kung bigkasin ang pangalan nya.
Student - Naku, si Lot-lot Mam?

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misis na aso


huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu (umiiyak yung asawa ni pedro na si katrina)

Pedro:hon bakit ka umiiyak ??

Katrina:kasi yung kapit bahay natin inaasar akong aso! huhuhuhuhuhu

Pedro: langhiya yun... bakit di mo kinagat!!!!

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An Arab Sheikh was admitted at the Philippine Heart Center in
Manila for a heart transplant , but prior to the surgery , the doctors
needed to store his blood in case need arises. As the gentleman had a
rare type of blood , it couldn't be found locally , so , the call went out
to a number of provinces.

Finally an Old Ilocano , from Cagayan , was located who had a
similar type of blood. The Ilocano willingly donated his blood
for the Arab.

After the surgery , the Arab sent the Ilocano as appreciation for
giving his blood , a new Toyota Prado , diamonds , jewelry , and a million
US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His
doctor telephoned the Ilocano who was more than happy to donate his
blood again. After the second surgery , the Arab sent the Ilocano a
thank you card and a jar of Almond sweets.

The Ilocano was shocked that the Arab this time did not
reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned
the Arab and asked him:

'I thought that you would be generous again , that you would
again give me a Toyota Prado , Money , Diamonds and Jewelry...but you only
gave me a thank you card and a jar of Almond sweets!'

To this the Arab replied:

'Manong...I now have Ilocano blood in my veins!'

nyahahahaha naging kuripot tuloy yung ARABO

ilocanong arabo aaaaaaw

ilocanong arabo nga po tol jaz thanks po tol hiro

foreigner na ilocano tol tats

Hahahahahhihihihuhuhu..naiyak ako kakatawa tol dre....