Comedy Lounge

GOVERNMENT

Anonymous — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 14:30:11 GMT

A LITTLE BOY GOES TO HIS DAD AND ASKS, "WHAT IS POLITICS?" DAD SAYS, "WELL SON, LET ME TRY TO EXPLAIN IT THIS WAY: I'M THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY, SO CALL ME THE PRESIDENT. YOUR MOTHER IS THE ADMINISTRATOR OF THE MONEY, SO CALL HER THE GOVERNMENT. WE'RE HERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR NEEDS, SO WE'LL CALL YOU THE PEOPLE. THE NANNY, WE'LL CONSIDER THE WORKING CLASS, AND YOUR BABY BROTHER, WE'LL CALL HIM THE FUTURE. NOW THINK ABOUT THAT AND SEE IF IT MAKES ...

JOKE JOKE JOKE

crystal_kasannagi — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:56:00 GMT

JOKE JOKE JOKE

" AT TYMS WEN UR LONELY & HAVE NO ONE 2 TALK, JUST PUT UR HANDS 2GETHER AND SING......... CHONGKOYLA,,, MEKUREKONG KBA? AKO? WALA!...HEHEHE....... BOBOCHECHANG.,,,,,MEKUREKONG KA NGA AKO WALA ....HAHAH A

funny videos

yama — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:43:09 GMT

download here:

http://rifatbd.wen9.com/FUNNYVI.html

kaya niyo ba to???

yama — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:32:27 GMT

kakaiba to,,hehehe,,,

download niyo to--> http://www.mediafire.com/?t5jyk20zz2t

Tawa kau jan part 5......

noah_kasannagi — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 18:24:50 GMT

Text messages ng mag-ina Son - "no more allowance, send money" Dad - "no more money, tighten your belt" Son - "send belt" Darna Pedro - Nang girlfriend ko pa lang ang misis ko ang tawag ko sa kanya ay Darna dahil seksi sya. Ngayon ang tawag ko sa kanya ay Dorna. Pablo - Bakit Dorna? Pedro - Kasing lapad na sya ng DOOR NAmin. Survey Mister - (nagbabasa ng diaryo) ...

Kayczer D' Genius

Anonymous — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 13:03:07 GMT

Johnjoe D' Genius Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her first-grade students, "Johnjoe, what is your problem?" Johnjoe answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" Ms Brooks had had enough, so she took Johnjoe to the principal's office. The principal agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back ...

Tawa muna kayo dyan!!!!!!!!!!

hiro — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 12:14:56 GMT

ANG LORO Tuwang-tuwa at parating pinagmamalaki nung Monsignor yung kaniyang alagang loro. Wika nung Monsignor, "Itong aking loro ay hindi lang napakagaling magsalita kundi napakabanal pa! Kapag aking hinigit yung kadena sa kaniyang kaliwang paa, siya'y magsasalita ng buong dasal ng Ama Namin. Kapag akin namang hinigit yung kadena sa kaniyang kanang paa,siya'y magsasalita ng buong dasal ng Aba Ginoong Maria." Tanong nung isang aleng nakikinig, "Monsignor, ...

KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST

Anonymous — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 12:20:51 GMT

TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." _____________ TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables! _____________ TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?" JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! _____________ TEACHER: ...

MARRIAGE AND FRENCH

Anonymous — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 13:38:48 GMT

dunno, but these really made me laugh. ************* LOVE AND MARRIAGE CYCLE 1-2 yrs: magkasalo sa plato 3-5 yrs: tig-isang plato 5-7 yrs: nagbabatuhan na ng plato 8-10 yrs: wala na silang plato This is what we call PLATOnic love! and most especially, this. LEARNING FRENCH City - ce vou Drug - sha vou Good bye - va vou Bald - cal vou Caught in the act - navo cou Feathers - valahi vou Not clear - mala vou Cute ...

tawa kayo ule dyan part 3..

noah_kasannagi — Sun, 10 May 2009 21:34:17 GMT

3 dalaga nagpaalam sa kanilang Daddy para makipag-date: Dalaga1: Daddy, I'm going with PETE to EAT. Dalaga2: Daddy, I'm going with LANCE to DANCE. Dalaga3: Daddy, I'm going with CHUCK... Daddy: Hoy hindi ka aalis ng bahay! ****************************************** Anak: Mommy, ang ganda ng bracelet mo. Bigay ba ni Daddy 'yan? Mommy: Ay naku anak, kung sa Daddy mo lang ako aasa, baka pati ikaw wala sa mundong ito. **************************************** ...

A COUPLE'S JOKE

hiro — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 13:33:29 GMT

Couple talking wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas. husband : hello!? electrician ba ako? wife : eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan natin. husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako? umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho. wife : kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay. so he offered to help in exhange of either sex or bake ako ng cake. husband : so pnag-bake mo ...

Cyberdaters

hiro — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 09:19:00 GMT

Cyberdaters Nang magkita ang may ID na NATASHA At SALLY heheheheh MAG INGAT SA MIG DAMING GANYAN JEJEJEJE

Magsisisi ka!!!!!

jay-r_kasannagi — Wed, 28 May 2008 14:10:47 GMT

Magsisisi ka!!!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- isang gabi may lalaking nasiraan ng kotse sa isang liblib na bayan Sa tapat ng simenteryo may puno ng balete my lumapit na matandang my dalang libro at ibinibenta sa halagang P2,000 Namahalan ang lalaki pero napilitan syang bilhin dahil sa takot. . sabi ng matanda "Wag na wag mong titingnan ang huling pahina kundi MAGSISISI KA!!!" tapos ...

ang pangungulangot at ang sex....

amber_18 — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:01:35 GMT

Subject: ang pangungulangot at sex... Sex education the filipino way. Maiisip ba ng mga kano at ibang dayuhan ang ganitong 'creative' connection :--) Ang Kulangot at ang Sex Inusisa ni Totoy ang kanyang tatay. Totoy: Bakit po masarap ang sex? Tatay: Kasi, may kiliti o sensation iyon na katulad ng nararamdaman mo pag nangungulangot ka. Totoy: Bakit po mas nasasarapan ang mga babae kaysa sa mga lalaki sa sex? Tatay: Gaya ng nasabi ko, ang sex ay parang pangungulangot. ...

Sexy PIctures.......

jay-r_kasannagi — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 08:19:40 GMT

Contestant #1: Contestants #2: Contestant #3: Ala panapat sa #3 wahahahaha...

don't be too late!!!

amber_18 — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 06:19:46 GMT

dagdagan nyo mga tol ang phrase na ito.

don't be too late, wag mong patagalin!

baka magsawa ako wahahhaha!!! dagdag nyo nlng ano gusto nyo sabihin.

ways to know you are a Filipino

amber_18 — Mon, 11 May 2009 11:05:44 GMT

Ways To Know You Are A Filipino 1. You point with your lips 2. You nod upwards to greet someone. 3. You collect items from hotels or restaurants "for souvenir". 4. You smile for no reason. 5. You flirt by having a foolish grin in your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly. 6. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices. 7. You add an unwarranted "H" to your name, i.e. "Jhun," "Bhoy," "Rhon." 8. You put your ...

Wanna dance?

hiro — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:44:17 GMT

Wanna dance? just follow the step

Tawa naman kayo dyan..

noah_kasannagi — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 07:03:42 GMT

REPORTER: Madam President, kung buhay si Ninoy ngayon, siguro pangulo na siya. CORY: Hindi siguro. Baka bilanggo siya, kamo. REPORTER: Bakit naman po? CORY: Baka napatay na niya si Kris. ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------- JUDGE: Isa ka palang pusher, kidnapper, gun for hire, swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang matinong hanapbuhay? ACCUSED: Meron po. Pulis po ako. ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------- BETH: ...

Pampasaya take 2!!!!!!!!!!!!

hiro — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:18:43 GMT

Lintek na panaginip James: Pare, nanaginip ako kagabi, yung kabataan ko. Nagpunta daw kami ng Family ko sa Amusement park ng family ko. Ang dami raw rides at animals, tapos ang daming candies and snacks at ice cream, tapos ang daming colorful balloons. Ang saya-saya ko daw talaga! Miguel: Pare ako rin nanaginip kagabi, nasa isang kuwarto daw ako nanonood ng tv, biglang pumasok si Cindy Kurleto naka nighty lang walang underwear, sabay lapit sa akin. James: Tapos? Miguel: Nung ...

Pampasaya take 1!!!!!!!!!!!!

hiro — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 07:13:10 GMT

may dalawang itlog sabay ipinirito... habang sila ay pinipirito napasigaw ang isang itlog itlog1: ang init...... ang init, shet!! napasigaw dn c itlog2 itlog2: waaaa.... tulong... may itlog na nagsasalita.... ngak !!!!! __________________________________________________________________________ KALBO Si Alma ay seloso at palaging tsine - check ang kanyang babaerong mister tuwing uuwing galing ng opisina. Isang araw galing sa klub si Joey... Alma ...

JOKE NI PAKS 3

crystal_kasannagi — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 22:44:22 GMT

SA BAKERY MAY NAMAMALIMOS NA ISANG BATANG PULUBI SA ISANG ALE: PULUBI: palimos po ng isang cake... ...

KAHULUGAN NG BUWAN NG KAPANGANAKAN

crystal_kasannagi — Sun, 31 May 2009 13:31:38 GMT

ENERO: seloso o selosa FEBRERO: mahirap mahalin, moody , may katok MARSO: sweet pero may kunting arte ABRIL: pasaway makulit at mayabang MAYO: honest pero nangangaliwa minsan HUNYO: lover, user, playboy HULYO: stick to one, mahilig sa sex trip AGOSTO: mahilig sa sex pero loyal SETYEMBRE: takot magmahal at masaktan pero malibog OKTOBRE: hindi kuntento sa isa bolero NOBYEMBRE: seryoso,bousy,mahilig sa kama at mapagmahal DISYEMBRE: mapagmahal,two timer at malibog.

TAUHAN AT AMO

crystal_kasannagi — Sun, 31 May 2009 13:18:33 GMT

isang araw galit na galit na cnugod ng tauhan ang amo......... TAUHAN: lintek kang amo ka! tinatao tao mo lg ako sa putikan pero d mo tinataasan ang sahod q! Panu pag namatay ako cnu magpapakain sa pamilya q ikaw? AMO: Inglesin mo yan tataasan q sahod mo! TAUHAN: lightning u! you man man me in d field, but my salary did not climb? what f i die who will eat my family????? ...

psychiatric award

amber_18 — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:03:51 GMT

A Sadist, masochist, murderer, necrophile, zoophile and pyromaniac in a psychiatric ward: Sadist : Hey! why dont we torture a cat? Zoophile : Yeah! We'll torture t then f*ck it. Murderer : might as well torture it, f*ck it and then kill it. Necrophile : Ok! So we'll torture it, f*ck it, kill it then f*ck it again. Pyromaniac : Yeah! after doing it all, we'll set it on fire! SILENCE... Then they looked at the masochist and said : "What about you? Dont you have ...

Tawa kayo ulet dyan...

noah_kasannagi — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:34:35 GMT

Parrot sa dumadaang lalake: Panget! Panget! Guy: Pag sinabi mo pa ulit yan sakin, papatayin na kita! Nextday.... Parrot: pssst........ Guy: bakit? Parrot: alam mo na.... Nung bata ako, tuwing may kasal lagi ako tinutukso nila lolo't lola "uuy, sya na susunod...." Tumigil lang sila nung may ililibing at tnukso ko sila ng , "uuy, sila na susunod" LADY: doc, meron po akong brownish discharge. Parang na in-fect. DR ...

magsisi ka nga!!!!

amber_18 — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 23:17:36 GMT

bwahahaha! magsisisi ka nga!..... Erap writing on a slum book: Favorite Actor: Arnold Scharzene...(erase)... Arnold Schwarze...(erase)... Arnold Schwarzz...(erase)... Arnold Shwazenne... . ..(erase)... Arnold Shwazenner.. . ..(erase)... Arnold Shwarzenneg. . ..(erase) Arnold Schchwarzenne. .. (erase)... Arnold Clavio...bwahahaha!

GAME - AND HINDI MAG CLICK DITO AY PANGET!!!!!

amber_18 — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:08:34 GMT

-------- PA CLICK NGA PARA DI AKO PAPANGET--------

Paper Art!!

jay-r_kasannagi — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 06:57:19 GMT

<---hubo!, haha :p

Dirty jokes...hakhak...

jay-r_kasannagi — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 10:21:29 GMT

DIRTY JOKES AND GRAPHICS "Father forgive me for I have sinned. I'm sexually preoccupied and often read dirty jokes and graphics from my cell phone," kumpisal ng sosi na lalaki. "My child," paumpisa ng pari, "ipadala mo sa akin 'yung iba." __________________________________________________ SAKRISTAN Laking-kumbento ang sakristan kaya walang alam ito sa mga baboy na salita. Isang araw, nakarinig siya ng mga bagong pandinig sa kanya kaya ...

LAKAS TALAGA EPEKTO NG MGA PINOY , HANGGANG SA MGA HAYOP

Jazmine_kasannagi — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 18:00:36 GMT

Joke tym....

jay-r_kasannagi — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 10:09:43 GMT

HUBAD NA Girl: Hubad mo na bra ko. Boy: Iyan hubad na. Girl: Hubad mo na rin panty ko. Boy: 'Yan hubad na rin. Girl: Sa susuenod huwag na huwag mong gagamitin ang mga gamit ko, walanghiya! __________________________________ HONEYMOON Mikee Cojuanco: Honey, i-shoot mong mabuti ha! Dudut Jaworski: Oo ba, basta galingan mong mangabayo! ________________________________________\ ITLOG NA PULA Two wives are buying of itlog in the local ...

Top 50 Worst Lies ng mga Chickboy (",)

jay-r_kasannagi — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 03:27:50 GMT

1. " Friends lang kami..." 2. " Huwag ka mag-alala...ako bahala." 3. " Hindi kita iiwan." 4. " Ibigay mo na kung mahal mo ako..." 5. " May OT e..." 6. " Okay lang...I understand na hindi ka pa ready." 7. " Huwag mo pansinin yun...wala yun." 8. " Ikaw ang mahal ko..." 9. " Hindi ko na siya tinetext..." 10 " Ito lang talaga friendster account ko..." 11." Ito lang talaga e-mail account ko..." 12. " Totoo sinasabi ko." 13. " puro lalake kasama ko..." 14. " ...

COMPLETE VERSION

rhea_kasannagi — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 10:38:07 GMT

dad:anak bli mko softdrink! anak:coke o pepsi? dad:coke anak:diet o reg? dad:regular anak:bote o can? dad:bote anak:8oz olitro? dad:punyeta! 2big nlng! anak:natural o mineral? dad:mineral anak:malamig o hndi? dad: hampasi kya kta ng walis! anak:tambo o tingting? dad:animal ka! anak:baka o baboy? dad:layas! anak:ngayon o bukas? dad:ngayon na!! anak:hatid mo kp o hndi? dad:patayin kya kta? anak:hahampasin o babarilin? dad:babarilin!!! anak: ulo o tyan? dad:pesteeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! anak:ipis ...

Protect Your Computer From Viruses

hiro — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 09:07:03 GMT

Protect Your Computer From Viruses

TAWA MUNA!!!

Jazmine_kasannagi — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 14:30:54 GMT

Halo-halong jokes Frankie: Doc, bat tuwing umiinom ako ng coke sumasakit ang dibdib ko, pero pag libre di naman? Doc: normal yan, manipis ang atay mo pero makapal ang mukha mo! *************** Boy: Nay! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase! Nanay: Bat mo naman nasabi? Boy: Ini-announce kasi kanina ung top 1 sa klase. Ang tinuro ni ma'am ung katabi ko. Muntik na ako. **************** Bush visited the Philippines and Erap acted as his translator: Bush: Lets ...

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

amber_18 — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:59:56 GMT

Here's a few laughs. Enjoy! Believe it or not. Woman has Man in it; Mrs. has Mr . in it; Female has Male in it; She has He in it; Madam has Adam in it; No wonder men always want to be inside women! Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman.... Why? BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked ...

New Dyisebel.....

jay-r_kasannagi — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 03:56:48 GMT

bagay ba cla mga tol..

Tattoo of the Year....

jay-r_kasannagi — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 08:15:47 GMT

What do you think mga tol..isn't it nice....

Erap Puzzles!!!!!

jay-r_kasannagi — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 14:30:42 GMT

Erap Puzzles..... Erap Answer..... Cheeeeeers mga tol.....